Thank you note

Dear Vacation,
Thank you so much for the opportunity to be with my best friends, play in the sun, relax on the beach and simply enjoy life.  I really appreciate the yummy food too.  The gummy bears, wine, Doritos, pita chips, plastic cheese,beer, fried pickles and vodka were to die for.  You were the consummate hostess- glasses always filled, plates of white trash delicacies at every turn. Oh what a joy!
However, my pants barely fit, my tummy is bulging and I am exhausted by the amount of water I need to drink just to pee.
Good bye for now.  May we meet again soon.  Next time, I'll bring the veggies and fruit.
Sincerely,
Ten Pounds Heavier & Ready for a Cleanse in AZ